Tuesday, June 29, 2010

I'm Just an Animal, Looking For a Home

there are very few covers of songs that i like more than the original, especially when the original is done by a band as amazing and distinctive as the talking heads. the truth is, their song this must be the place has never been my favorite of theirs. i'm far more partial to tunes like psycho killer, burning down the house, and once in a lifetime. however, tom cruise/christian bale look alike miles fisher has created a version that i love so hard it hurts a little. i've had his version stuck in my head all day. miles fisher is actually a harvard grad who has tried his luck in hollywood, scoring roles in mad men and superhero movie (in which he spoofed tom cruise's scientology promo video, check it out here. my favorite bit of acting that he has done was in his music video for his cover of this must be the place. he re-enacts scenes from the movie american psycho with precision, which makes sense cuz he looks just like christian bale as well. you can actually download all of miles fisher's ep here for free (don't worry, it's legal, it's his site). here is his video for this must be the place. i must warn you, it does contain some strongly adult content. it is based on american psycho, which is about as hard an r rated movie as you get. so if you just want to listen and not watch, listen on his download site i referenced earlier.

Monday, June 21, 2010

My Big Fat Ragnar Relay

over the weekend, i rocked a freakin' sweet race called the Ragnar Wasatch Back Relay. i loved it so much it hurt, both figuratively and literally. it is 188 miles from logan to park city. my team was called the 12 olympians, and we were in the co-ed division since we had six guys and six gals. after spending from friday morning at 7 to saturday evening at 7 with them, i am actually kinda going through team withdrawals.
to pump myself up and really rock the relay, i shaved my hair to this mohawk. it was immortalized in soap on this window by the amazing artist and speed demon lydia. side note, lydia and mary ray's middle names are sting and sunshine respectively. i am not making that up. i love those girls.
i ran three legs of the race, the 1st(7.8 miles, rated very hard), 13th(8.3 miles, rated very hard), and 33rd(3.6 miles, rated very hard but should have been rated ridiculously hard). my last leg was actually supposed to be the 25th, but we missed the exchange point, so i switched with someone else. the first two legs i ran really didn't seem so bad. the third that i ended up running was the single hardest running experience of my life. basically, i was running straight up a mountain side. i hated/loved it completely. it was the steepest leg of the whole race, although it was only the second hardest in total. the hardest was the very next leg, which christian hunt ran. i have a hard time putting into words how amazing it was to watch him haul up that hill, passing everybody on it. i struggled on that mountain, he thrived. he was the fastest man on that hill that day, truly a work of art in running. he is the mannest mancore that ever manned.
there were some awesome vehicle decorations (cars dressed as mammoths, strung up with christmas lights, etc.). this was a rather scandalous van from minnesota.
we ran through the night, which meant reflective vests, headlamps, and surprised pilmers.
we all slept in the van, which meant that we didn't really sleep much at all. although, cara is actually sleeping in this pic, she just sleeps with both eyes open, always staring at you. what a creeper.
about 7 miles left in the race, we passed a hotel/resort under construction. all of the workers silently watched us go by. some of them were rubbing their bellies. no lie.
from left to right: emily, christian, jason, bronson, tyler, lydia, mary, colby, cara, becca, deba, and some goofy kid.

this was one of my favorite things in the history of the world. i love these people. we added on deba and tyler the week of the race, and they performed like rockstars. as a team, we ranked 53rd out of 658 teams in our division. hells yeah. i actually got emotional talking about the race on sunday, it was really awesome all around. i can't say enough about how amazing each person on my team is, including the drivers of our vans (paige(jason's girlfriend) and judine(becca's mom)). much love to them all. after all that time together, they know far more personal things about me than most people. this bud's for you.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Get Over It

while i was in the gym recently, enjoying a nice steam, i overheard a guy complaining about how all of his high school friends were getting married. he also mentioned that he was 22, just back from a mission, and that all was defined as "all give or take 10"(that is a rather large margin for error, i don't even know if i had 20 friends in high school). i hear this sort of stuff all of the time. i don't know if people think that they are the only ones not married, or if they don't realize that is what happens with young adults, or if they are just jealous of the people who have found happiness in someone else. it isn't just in the state of utah, at byu, or just mormons. everyone gets married. heck, the gays wish they could say all of their friends were getting married. i don't care if you think you are the first person with friends who don't hang out with you anymore cuz they are engaged. good for them. they've found something good. grow up. people get married, leave your life, and have families that become their nexus of activity for the next 30 years. that's life. go get a date, paint some pottery, and try to get your own family on.

Friday, June 11, 2010


once upon a time, there was a man named willem dafoe. the biggest movie he has ever been in was probably spider man, or spider man 2, or spider man 3. i forgive him for that cartoony character green goblin, it was really written horribly. lucky for me, he has been in a billion other movies, many of which are quintessential genre pieces, or cult classics that defy genre. leading man, probably not. character actor of the highest order, absolutely. some of my favorite roles of his include as nosferatu in shadow of the vampire:
as agent paul smecker in boondock saints:
and his breakout role as sgt. elias in platoon:
other classic movies for him include american psycho, the last temptation of christ, clear and present danger, born on the fourth of july, the english patient, the aviator, the life aquatic with steve zissou, and paris, je t'aime. go watch them. all of them. or not. whatever. like i care what you watch.

Musings on World Cup: Uruguay v France

-worst hair of the cup so far: bacary sagna. seriously, this pic doesn't do it justice at all.-second worst hair: djibril cisse

-i don't know why, but i am rooting for france. maybe it is just to spite my friend karla.
-soccer might be the only sport where france is more physical than the opposing team.
-thierry henry in the mls? still scratching my head on that one. this is way bigger than beckham playing for the galaxy. henry is one of the all time greats. if it happens, i am stoked. i'd go to a game just to see him play.
-why do france's shorts look shorter than everyone else's?
-i'm surprised that south africa and mexico played more offense than france and uruguay. this has really been a boring game to watch. it looks like uruguay is just happy to have a draw. play to win fools! i've killed men for less.

Musings on World Cup:South Africa v Mexico

-the man (siphiwe tshambalala) that scored the opening goal in the world cup looks like wayne brady with dreads.
-mexico got robbed by a bad call, but i can't help but feeling satisfied by that thought.
-i had insomnia last night, but i still woke up to watch this game.
-i fell asleep at the end, and dreamed that i got a red card for getting fouled by a goalie.
-i don't think i have ever cared about south african sports ever, but i was rooting for them.
-those vuvuselas were brutally annoying for the first ten minutes, but now i don't know if i can watch soccer without them.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010


last night i had a really weird dream. i guess most dreams are weird, but this was one of those that bordered between a nightmare and an awesome adventure dream(they need to make a name for that sort of dream). it was mostly because i was in my own version of zombieland, which was a movie that payed homage to zombie horror movies, but was more an absurdist comedy than it was horror. if you have seen the movie, i was the main character. if you haven't seen the movie, i am that kid sliding on his knees in the pic above. it was both scary and awesome, i really wasn't afraid of my ability to get away from the zombies, but i mean, it was zombies chasing me. there was even a grocery store scene. the zombies in my dream had a sunlight aversion like vampires for some reason(i have a thing for vamps too, so it makes sense really). so like in i am legend, going into buildings was scurry. my small group warned a huge group of people that were walking into a grocery store about the zombies we knew were inside, but they didn't listen. we walked in after them, and watched as they disappeared into the aisles, and just didn't come out the other side. we walked around quietly, hoping the zombies wouldn't know we were there, cuz they had just been distracted by the huge feast that had walked into their midst. we were loading up on groceries( i had toilet paper and a bale of hay for some reason) when i saw two pinkertonesque zombies watching us. i told my crew that we had to book it out of there, and we did, but it was turning dark outside, so the zombies started chasing us too. fortunately, we were mostly in running shape, so we easily outpaced them. that is the only part of the dream i remember well, but i do remember that i was able to get back into the dream after i woke up a little. i usually can't do that, so it was a radical moment for me. don't let the zombies get you.

Monday, June 7, 2010

The Smell of Summer is Ringing in my Ears

after writing that title, i realized that it is rather like the brand new lyrics. so sue me. this post isn't about brand new, rather, it is about my favorite smell ever. that quaint lil tree in that pic is what is known as the russian olive tree. we have them all over the place in utah. i don't know much about them, all i know about it is that it smells awesome in the summer. when i grow up and am old and fat, i will have one of these in my yard so that my house always smells awesome. it is a mildly sweet smell, not overpowering, not flowery. more like something is baking, but without the vanilla smell. when i am walking around somewhere, and i smell it, i stop and take deep breaths to the point of becoming lightheaded. i also tell whoever i am with what it is, because i think that everyone should know what the awesome smell of summer is. now, i am not discounting the great smells of wildflowers or summertime cookouts, they are just not quite so amazing as the russian olive tree. i could even be wrong about what they are, but whatever this blessed tree is, i love it so hard. blessed is this tree. blessed is my nose because of my tree. if i could marry this tree, we would already have 3 kids with 1 more on the way. i would probably marry a girl just because she was wearing some perfume that smelled like it.